It's probably unfair to condemn all Robot Wars contestants as potential serial killers, but there's something undeniably unnerving about their wet-lipped enthusiasm. The default thousand-yard stare doesn't help, hinting at a solitary existence of unfulfilled desires, with only a fridge full of pancreas jam for company. Despite this nagging doubt, the programme remains the most watched on BBC2, something of a national disgrace considering it is often preceded by Tbe Simpsons.

Four million virgins can't be wrong though, and this game arrives with a ready-made audience. Why get your hands dirty tampering with your mechanical behemoth in the shed when you can do it all from the safety of your PC? It's certainly easier to build a robot by clicking on a few boxes than actually getting out the Black & Decker.

Jun 16, 2021 About This Game War is raging, pilot! Are you ready for surprise attacks, intricate tactical maneuvers and the many sneaky tricks your rivals have in store for you? Destroy enemy robots, capture all the beacons, and upgrade your weapons to increase your battle robot’s combat strength, speed and durability. Robot Wars is a robot combat competition that was broadcast on British television from 1998 to 2004 and from 2016 to 2018. Each series involves teams of amateur and professional roboteers operating their own constructed remote controlled robots to fight against each other in an arena formed of steel and bullet proof glass fitted with arena hazards and containing areas occupied by hostile.

They haven't skimped on the complexity, and a wide array of weapons, armour types, engines and so forth are available, enabling you to build up your rudimentary automaton into something more impressive. The authenticity continues into the arena, with the ubiquitous Jonathan Pearce providing his unique brand of commentary, maintaining a foothold in the games industry that stretches back as far as the original Sensible Soccer.

The controls can be a tad unresponsive, and there isn't a great deal of skill involved, other than luring opponents into either the pit or the jurisdiction of the house robots. Some variety is added by the inclusion of a number of fantasy arenas other than the television studio, but ultimately the game is only a marginal improvement on actually watching the programme.

As you may know, there are in fact just three categories of contestant on Robot Wars. The first is the family outing, where dad comes decked out in his funeral suit and a pair of '80s Ray Bans. Dad’s friend Ken is in similar attire, only the suit is a size too small and the shades are from a 99p carousel outside Boots. Sonny is wearing his school uniform and is obviously delighted with his creation, a Fisher Price affair that ends up malfunctioning, on fire, or only going in circles within ten seconds of the start. Ken paws the remote and Sonny quivers his bottom lip while the TV audience howls with laughter.

The second form of contestant is the team of nutters. Here, men with beards talk about voltage regulators and strontium carbonate pickaxes. Their spokesman is eloquent and verbose, the others smile weakly and waggle the aerial. They all have potbellies, T-shirts bearing the name of their local pub, and a remote control so comprehensive that it comes in two sections.

Let Battle Commence

The third and final contestant is the mad loner. That’s who you get to play in the second instalment of the BBC's Robot Wars franchise, Extreme Destruction. It's just you and your mechanical roller-skate taking on the house robots and some of the more familiar contraptions from the early evening TV show. Jonathan Pearce lends his autobahn voice to the proceedings and so does the bloke who says: 'Cease!' The opening menu allows you to choose between arcade-style action, where you pick a name and start fighting, and the Robot Builder, where you browse a catalogue of parts and piece together a machine from scratch. You can also take your flimsy death machine up against your mate’s in the two-player split-screen mode (Xbox owners are spoiled with a four-way split).

Visually the game is rather lacklustre, but considering real-life Robot Wars is all angles and battleship emulsion it’s not a sticking point. The sounds are a definite weak area, failing to rumble subs or wake neighbours even at high volume. But the biggest disappointment of all is the controls. On a regular remote the sticks are analogue, allowing fractional movements to be transmitted, but a keyboard is digital and the keys are either on or off. You can’t do gentle turns or move at half speed, making some manoeuvres impossible and a joystick essential.

Xbox Marks The Spot

Robot Wars Game Youtube

Play the game for any length of time and it’s clear it’s been aimed at console gamers. There’s no network support, with multiple players squeezed onto one monitor. There is no real depth to the game, the emphasis being on instant gratification. Strategy doesn’t feature, with fights limited to broadsiding your opponents and clobbering the fire button until their bits fall off. Is that really what you want from $1,000 of hardware?